14th Longinus
by HavocAlpha
Summary: The night Issei Hyoudou died, Rias Gremory had a choice: but instead of Issei, she chose another; a young man with a very different personality. Neil Ericson, a young man with a guilty conscience thought that Japan would be a new beginning; he never expected he would have to pay for it with his life, or his freedom. OC protagonist.
1. Prologue

_A/N: Hello readers, this story started off as a plot bunny that was born from reading High School DxD and a book I own on various mythologies ('Oxford Illustrated companion to World Mythology' if you're curious). This is the first story I have made that features an OC; I'd appreciate your opinion about him. Secondly, I'm guessing that you're probably wondering what the story will be like, I couldn't find a good genre to put it in; the story has drama, humour, action, and even – dare I say it – romance (Mock gasp of horror) much later on (And I really hope I don't f*** it up). Lastly, this story will contain blood, violence, coarse language, nudity, maybe even a lemon or two later on (If I can write one to a good and tasteful standards) and a number of dark themes; you have been warned. Enjoy.  
Disclaimer: I don't own High School DxD._

_Update: ret-conned the prologue, removed the bio._

* * *

Prologue: A clichéd setting.

'Dear Azazel,' the letter read. 'Enclosed with this letter is a profile made about a human male that one of Grigori's agents identified in the West. I believe that this requires your immediate attention. Yours; Kokabiel.'

In a shadowy room, with a beam of light illuminating only what he was holding, Azazel read the letter, one hand resting on his jaw thoughtfully, whilst sitting on an armchair. Enclosed with the letter was a file on a young human male by the name of Neil Ericson. He was about five foot ten; had grey-blue eyes and short, black hair that fell to his eyebrows, according to the photo. It seemed that he had an unknown Sacred Gear that – according to one of Grigori's agents in England – was dormant, but could potentially have sufficient potential to rival a Longinus. Furthermore, it seemed that the boy was involved in a recent criminal trial. Suffice to say that Azazel was curious. He turned to the one other Fallen Angel in the room.

"Shemhazai, instruct Kalawarner to keep an eye on this one." Azazel told his vice-governor. "But he is not to be harmed just yet. Have him move to Japan where we can keep a closer eye on him. This new Sacred Gear could be quite interesting… Too bad it's not in a pretty girl…" Shemhazai nodded silently and departed, leaving Azazel to relish the opportunity to study a new Sacred Gear and lament that the discovery wasn't in the possession of a busty, young woman, like the pervert that he was. But you can't have everything in life.

* * *

_A/N: before you start asking me what Sacred Gear the protagonist has, I deliberately didn't reveal it this early on, as discovering its power is a part of the story. Finally, has anyone ever found themselves feeling nervous just before they upload a new story? Thought I'd ask._


	2. Chapter 1: Stranger in a strange land

_A/N: Hello again readers. The story from here on out is written in first-person perspective, with the occasional third-person perspective. As always, I appreciate reviews. Enjoy.  
Disclaimer: I don't own High School DxD or any referenced books, T.V. shows, films etc._

_Update: made some alterations, fixed a few errors._

* * *

Chapter 1: Stranger in a strange land.

The first thing I noticed as I woke on my first day at Kuoh Academy was my alarm clock blaring in my ear. Grumbling, I fumbled for the off switch as I opened my eyes and sat up in my bed; to a decent-sized room with my computer, my bookshelf (partially depleted due to needing to leave some of my things back in England) and the cupboard filled with my clothes. My name is Neil Ericson, I'm seventeen years old and until two weeks ago, I llived in England. I enjoy reading novels and comic books, the occasional cup of tea and swordplay (The kind with actual swords). I don't like bullies, (Who can blame me? Little shits) or being referred to by my grandpaernts' pet name for me. In terms of appearance, I have short black hair, grey-blue eyes and I'm still slightly pale from an extended duration inside; my waistline has also suffered a bit, I'd put on about a kilo and a half in the past two months and it wasn't muscle.

"Neil, get up!" Sonja – my older sister – called from downstairs. "If you're late, I'll tell your new classmates about the teddy bear you had as a kid!" Ah, yes; Sonja Ericson, my big sister. She's two years older than me and shares my enthusiasm for comic books (Our debate as to whether DC Comics or Marvel comics is better is best not enquired about). She's my height, with blonde hair, the same eye colour as me and a slim figure that belies her strength. Like me, she has a low tolerance of arse-holes, but is far more ruthless and brutal in dealing with them. But I digress. Barely six months ago, I would have made a snide comment about when our mother found her with a strange boy when she was fifteen (an older boy, I might add); but lately I just haven't had the heart to do so, even amongst my family. Muttering grumpily under my breath, I got out of my bed and dressed myself in the Kuoh boy's uniform for the first time.

_Thank God it's Friday._ I thought to myself, as I buttoned my shirt. _These past two weeks have definitely taken some getting used to._ Two weeks ago, my mother, sister and I had arrived in Japan due to an 'under the table' foreign exchange deal. I spent the past two weeks unpacking and trying to get used to my new life and the language, but the memories of what had happened six months – and then four months – ago still haunted me. I shook my head, as I tied my shoes, I couldn't afford to dwell on that.

* * *

After breakfast – consisting of pancakes (good at any time of the day) – I was dropped off at the gate by my mother, who was grateful that the cars drove on the same side of the road in Japan as they did in England. Feeling slightly nervous, I walked past the gate and towards the main building, to the main office, where I was greeted by the man I recognised from the parent/teacher meetings as my new homeroom teacher.

"Ah, Ericson-san." He said in Japanese. I confess that my skills in the language are less than excellent, but I could at least have an intelligent conversation with someone.

"Good morning, Sensei." I greeted him. "You wished for me to come here before class?"

"Indeed, I did." Sensei responded with a warm smile. "Are you ready for your first day at Kuoh academy?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." I told him truthfully. Nodding, Sensei went through some notes as he led me through the building to my new homeroom.

"Please wait out here until I call you in." He told me.

"Yes, Sensei." I replied. After a few moments of waiting, he called me into the class. Silently doing my utmost not to let my nervousness show, I walked inside to see that most of the class was comprised of girls (Unsurprising, since Kuoh Academy only recently became a co-ed school).

"Why don't you introduce yourself?" Sensei prompted. I nodded, my tongue felt dry in my mouth at that moment. I forced myself to smile and hoped that it didn't look forced or creepy.

"Good morning, my name is Ericson Neil." I introduced myself, recalling that the surname came first in Japanese grammar. "It is nice to meet you." As I bowed formally, I noticed that a number of the girls were muttering amongst themselves. It wasn't every day that an English boy came to their school to study alongside them.

"Ericson-san, if you would take that empty seat there?" Sensei prompted, gesturing to a vacant seat between two girls. Nodding – I didn't trust myself to speak – I walked to the desk and sat down; taking out the stationery I would need for my morning lessons.

"So, Ericson-san, tell us about yourself." One girl requested of me. I thought for a moment.

"Let's see…" I began. "I was born in England, in Greenwich to be exact. I have an older sister and enjoy swordplay." At this, several girls looked at me strangely.

"Interesting." One girl remarked. "We have a Kendo club here, but I think it only accepts girls."

_Gender exclusive._ I thought bitterly._ Bugger…_ Thankfully, Sensei called the class back to order before I could be bombarded with further questions.

* * *

Until lunch time, my day was fairly uneventful; I found it difficult to study in a language that I wasn't fluent in, but I managed. At lunch time however, whilst I was quietly eating my lunch at a table in the cafeteria; I was suddenly cast into shadow. A third-year girl was standing over me.

"Come with me." She told me.

"Why?" I asked politely. At my question, the girl's fingers clenched. In hindsight I guess that should've been warning sign number one.

"It's a surprise." She answered stiffly. Warning sign number two. Shrugging, I decided to stand up and follow the third-year. She led me outside, to a part of the school I hadn't seen yet. There was a small wood near an older looking building that gave me an unnerving feeling. The Third-year led me to near the old building, to the wall facing the wood; before stopping and turning to me.

"Uh, why is it that you wanted me to follow you all the way out here?" I asked, still a little bit confused. The Third-year turned to me with a cold look in her eyes.

"Turn out your pockets." She ordered. I instantly knew why she led me here.

"If you're trying to steal from me, I'm afraid that you're going to be rather disappointed." I told her sincerely. In response, the third-year kicked me in the stomach, winding me and sending me stumbling.

_Bloody hell that hurt!_ I thought, as the third-year slammed me into the wall, her left forearm pinning me to the building; as her free hand rummaged through my empty pockets. As she glared at me, I smirked in vindication. For that, I received a beating that left me on the ground in a lot of pain and a warning that – if I didn't have her money by the next time she saw me – she'd break my arm; the third-year walked away with nothing more than bruised knuckles from when she back-handed my skull. I confess that she had caught me off guard, which is why I couldn't defend myself.

_So much for a fresh start._ I thought to myself, as I took a deep breath in a futile attempt to calm down. _Easy, don't waste your time looking for revenge._ Groaning in pain, I gingerly got to my feet; my uniform covered with dirt and stumbled about five feet before I collapsed. With painstaking effort, I flipped myself onto my back and propped myself against a tree.

* * *

After about five minutes, I was able to stand again. Painfully, I stumbled out of the wood and towards the old building's entrance, keeping low, where I saw three boys sitting in a group; one looked as if he had been beaten.

_What happened to that poor chap?_ I wondered. _And who inflicted it upon him?_ My curiosity getting the better of me, I stumbled to a stop about fifteen feet from them and leaned against the wall, remaining out of their sight. My whole body ached from my injuries, but at least nothing had been broken. From what little I could comprehend – due mainly to the three speaking too quickly for me to decipher what they were saying – two had been caught peeking into the girls' change room and the third had paid the price. I felt a surge of anger at this; both for them peeking and at their lack of loyalty to their friend. The beaten one was about to elaborate further when something grabbed his attention. Curious, I too looked towards where the boy was looking and my heart nearly caught in my throat. There was a young woman standing behind an open window. I suspect that my jaw would've dropped if the action weren't so undignified; the woman had a full figure that looked amazing in the girls' uniform; pale, creamy skin and blue-green eyes that looked like jewels. But what really caught my attention was her long crimson-red hair. Almost as if she could sense my gaze, her eyes turned to me. In that instant, I knew exactly what it felt like to be a worm on a fishing hook; my heart was instantly gripped with inexplicable fear, I simply can't explain it. Then – as suddenly as it had come – my fear vanished as the woman turned away and stepped further inside, leaving me curious as to her identity; but with a feeling that discovering who she is would be more costly than I was willing to pay.

* * *

About ten minutes later, I was being cleaned up in the infirmary, where I was relieved to hear that I had only sustained minor bruising and that I'd be fine. I was instructed to lie down and was given several cold packs to place where it hurt most.

"Why on Earth didn't you defend yourself?" The nurse asked after I explained what happened, her voice filled with shock.

"A gentleman never strikes a lady." I answered. Despite what some may say about chivalry being dead, I was living proof that it yet lived (And I had promised myself that I would only fight if someone else was in danger). To be honest, I was trying to retain some dignity at being caught unguarded. At my words the nurse sighed.

"You do realise that your honour might just get you killed, don't you Ericson-san?" She asked.

"It almost has." I muttered. About a minute later, the infirmary door opened and a bespectacled young woman with short black hair entered, a folder held under her arm. The phrase 'ice queen' instantly leaped to my mind once I saw her.

"You must be the new student here. Ericson Neil-san, correct?" She asked, confirming my suspicions about her icy nature.

"I am." I nodded, causing pain to shoot through my head. "And who might you be?"

"I am Shitori Souna, president of the student council." She answered just as coldly. I suddenly felt as if the pit of my stomach had just vanished.

"I take it that this is hardly a social visit?" I asked. Souna shook her head.

"To have a new student get caught fighting on his first day is a grave matter." Souna told me. At this, I felt a fresh surge of anger.  
"She was the one who beat me up!" I tried to growl, but I was barely able to get my voice above normal speaking level due to my injuries.

"And what proof do you have?" Souna asked me coldly.

"The only injuries that would-be thief has are bruised knuckles from when she back-handed my head." I told her. "And in case you didn't notice; I'm the one in the infirmary, not her."

"What do you mean?" Souna asked.

"What I mean is that if I had fought back, she would have been in no condition to hurt me." I almost snarled as my anger rose to a dangerous level.

"You exaggerate." Souna stated, mistakenly confident of herself.

"Do I?" I responded coldly. "Check the reason why I came to this country. _Then_ tell me that I exaggerate."

"Your file never said anything about why you are here." Souna told me, as she opened the folder and showed it to me. It contained my academic records (along with a few other 'less academic' ones, namely the amount of brawls I had been involved in during primary school) and even my extracurricular activities, but not the real reason why I was in Japan of all places.

_Evidently, they don't want the students to know._ I thought. _Not that I blame them. If I knew there was a man like me going to my school, I'd probably panic._

"I see." I told Souna, as I calmed myself down, my tone finally becoming one of polite neutrality again. "I apologise for my temper, I have not been having a pleasant day." Or a pleasant half a year. "Was there anything else you wished to speak with me about?" She nodded.

"You were seen near the old school building." Souna told me. "I would like to know why you were there."

"I was lead there by the same charming individual who proceeded to beat me." I told her. "And who – pray tell – was it that saw me?" I already suspected whom; but I wanted a name for the face.

"Gremory Rias." Souna answered. "The Occult Research club is housed in the old building and is off limits to those who aren't members of it or the student council."

_Rias Gremory…_ I thought with some satisfaction. _So that's the redhead's name._

"I'll be sure to remember that." I told her, all the while suspecting that there was something unusual in the school. My old high school had never had a club even remotely connected to the occult, nor had my primary school. Either Japan was much more different than I had guessed or there really was something else going on behind closed doors.

"See to it that you do." Souna told me, her voice still cold. "I would rather not see our new resident foreign exchange student expelled." At that, she turned and left.

_Fucking brilliant…_ I thought. _I'm on her list. Why do I suspect that things will only get worse?_

* * *

Once the end of day bell sounded, I left the infirmary and was on my way to the exit when I accidentally bumped into another student, sending both of us onto our posteriors.

"My apologies." I said as I stood up, before extending a hand to help the other student – the same boy who I had seen outside the old building earlier – to his feet. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." He answered, before recognition flashed through his eyes. "You're the new kid, aren't you?"

"I am." I answered politely. "My name is Neil Ericson. I don't believe we've met."

"I'm Hyoudou Issei." Issei introduced himself. "If you don't mind me asking; what happened to you? You look like shit."

"Thanks." I muttered dryly. "Because I feel a whole lot worse. Some crazy senpai tried robbing me. When she realised I had nothing, she beat me to a pulp in frustration. You don't look so good, yourself."

"I got beaten by the kendo club." Issei told me. "My two buddies, Matsuda and Motohama ran out on me." The names were familiar to me.

"You three gentlemen wouldn't happen to be the 'perverted trio', now would you?" I asked shrewdly. I had heard rumours about them during the morning, but I doubted that they were _that_ bad.

"It's not my fault we're called that!" Issei practically yelled indignantly. I raised my hands for calm.

"I'm not here to argue the point." I said. "Now if you will excuse me, I need to get home and down some painkillers." Turning, I made my way to the gate as fast as my feet would carry me – not very, due to my injuries – and hoped that I didn't run afoul of any other aggressive female senpais.

* * *

"Dear Lord, Neil! What happened to you?" My mother asked in shock as I sat in the car; thankfully using English.

"Let's just say that I paid for my gentlemanliness." I remarked.

"Sticking up for the weak again, oh sir knight?" My mother teased.

"Actually, I got beaten up by a third-year girl." I corrected her. "And don't call me that, Mum."

"Well, it's the weekend now." My mother reassured me. "You can just stay at home and relax. We could even go somewhere nice for lunch on Sunday."

"Actually, I was planning on spending Sunday familiarising myself with the neighbourhood." I told her.

"Oh, do you want me to go with you?" She asked.

"No thanks." I answered. "I'll be fine. Besides, I'm sure you won't wreck the house in my absence." As it happens, it was actually my name on the rental contract; which meant that I was the one in charge of the house (I have no idea why though; just another mystery in a long line). Not that my mother or sister ever made it easy. Still, it meant that I could threaten to kick Sonja out when she annoyed me too much. Not that I ever would, I'm not that mean.

* * *

As my mother drove me home, I was blissfully unaware that a certain crimson-haired woman was planning something to do with me (It would've explained my burning ears at any rate). Inside the occult research clubroom, Rias Gremory was sitting on one of the sofas, deep in thought.

"Buchou." A female voice spoke from the side of the room. Rias turned to the source, a young Japanese woman with black hair, violet eyes and a full figure. "Is something wrong?"

"No, Akeno. Nothing's wrong." Rias answered. "Who was that boy? The foreign one with black hair and grey-blue eyes?" Rias was evidently curious.

"I believe his name is Ericson, first name Neil, a second-year." Akeno answered. "Born in England, he recently immigrated here as a part of an 'under the table' deal." At this, Rias gave Akeno her full attention.

"What kind of deal? Why would a deal need to be made 'under the table' for him to be here?" Rias wondered aloud.

"I am unsure, but it might have something to do with the English court case he was involved with." Akeno theorised.

"Court case? Is he a criminal?" Rias asked, suddenly concerned for the welfare of the school.

"I cannot say for sure." Akeno admitted. "But it seems that he might have been in considerable trouble and had to make a 'deal with the devil' – if you'll pardon my expression – to settle the matter." At this Rias chuckled darkly. "If I may ask, why are you so interested in him?" Rias thought for a moment.

"I might be mistaken." She admitted. "But I think he might have a Sacred Gear within him." Akeno giggled slightly at this.

"But what about Hyoudou Issei? Doesn't he have a Sacred Gear, too?" Akeno asked. "I doubt that you'll be able to take both." Rias sighed.

"You are probably right." She conceded. "Then who should I choose?" Akeno thought for a moment.

"You said that Hyoudou-san might have a powerful Sacred Gear too, correct?" Akeno asked. Rias nodded. "He's also cute, if a little lewd. This stranger seems a little too… Cold. Heartless." Rias almost snorted at Akeno's understatement; although she had never met the boy, she had heard about his lechery.

"Perhaps, but that could be a shell." She theorised.

"But what lies beneath it?" Akeno asked pointedly. "What if the cold shell hides the mind of a bloodthirsty killer? If you turn him, he could become a 'stray'. You could pay for your mistake with your life." Rias nodded.

"Perhaps." Rias admitted. "Or he could simply be nervous about being in a stranger in a strange land. Sona talked to him recently and confided in me that his behaviour was like that of a cornered animal with nowhere to run. And he seems wary of everyone he meets." At this, Akeno chuckled slightly.

"That last part almost sounds like Koneko-chan." She remarked. Rias also smiled slightly as she made a decision.

* * *

Saturday passed without incident, but on Sunday I decided to go and look around the neighbourhood. Yawning, I got out of bed without any pain (thanks to the appropriate usage of panadol), got dressed in dark blue jeans and t-shirt and made my way downstairs to the kitchen; where I made myself some toast and a cup of tea (Irish breakfast; despite being English I don't really like English breakfast tea). Once I had finished my meal and drink, I brushed my teeth, grabbed my wallet and keys and stepped out through the front door, making sure that I locked it behind me; seeing as my mother and sister had gone out before I woke (my mother to find a local church if I know her, I never enquired. I don't want to know what Sonja was up to). Checking my watch, I saw that it was already half-past ten. Smiling with what felt like the first genuine warmth I'd expressed in months, I set out and began exploring the neighbourhood. To be honest, I didn't find too much of interest, although I did get an unpleasant feeling of being watched as I passed a local shrine on the outskirts of town, but I shrugged it away. At one point, a strange-looking girl handed me a leaflet before vanishing; I pocketed it with the intention of studying it later (And it just seemed rude to simply throw it away without at least looking at it). At around one o'clock I found a local fast food restaurant and ordered myself a hamburger. After that, I continued exploring the area, familiarising myself with my surroundings. At about four thirty-five, I beheld a familiar sight walking towards me.

"Ericson-san?" Issei queried, surprised at my presence. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same." I responded, gesturing to the girl accompanying him. She was shorter than me, with black hair, violet eyes and a sweet expression that had clearly captivated Issei.

"Oh, yeah. Ericson-san, this is my girlfriend, Amano Yuma-chan." Issei introduced. "Yuma-chan, this is Ericson Neil-san; he just started at my school."

"Charmed." I said, bowing formally. Yuma blushed slightly and curtseyed. "Well, don't let me keep you, Hyoudou-san. You kids have fun." Smiling with as much good grace as I could muster – not all that much, but enough to maintain an acceptable level of politeness – I walked past the two lovebirds.

_Perhaps having a girlfriend will tone down some of his more 'lecherous' quirks._ I thought to myself in a rare flash of optimism (Rare these days; I wasn't always this pessimistic). It would be ruined about an hour later, when I decided to watch the sunset near the park.

* * *

As I stood in a corner of the footpath, out of the way; I suddenly had one of those sudden moments of clarity. I realised that 'Yuma' was Japanese for 'evening daze'. I suddenly had a bad feeling about Issei's girlfriend. But before I could think further, a voice nearly made me jump about five feet.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" A female voice asked in fluent English. After composing myself, I turned to see a young woman in a short violet trench coat and miniskirt with navy blue hair and brown eyes standing near me. Judging from her appearance, she appeared to be in her physical prime; but what disturbed me was that I hadn't heard any approaching footsteps.

"To us, maybe." I responded, also in English. "To another, it may be the most horrible sight they ever see. It's a matter of perspective." At my words, the woman nodded and I took a moment to further study her; she had a full figure and there was about an inch at the most in our height differences, and her clothing revealed more cleavage than would probably be deemed 'appropriate'.

"Perhaps…" She muttered, before turning to me with an emotionless expression. "You should enjoy it while you can; this will be the last time you see it."

_Last time? What – oh, shit!_ I thought as my surprise turned to horror, as a spear that seemed to be comprised of pure light materialised in her hand. Part of me was screaming to flee, but I stood my ground; even as she threw the spear, which made a squelching sound as it impaled itself in my gut. For a moment I was transfixed, barely able to comprehend what just happened to me; then the spear vanished and blood gushed from my wound, as I fell to my knees, coughing up blood with a sickeningly wet noise that was all too familiar to me. The woman stalked towards me as a pair of black, feathery wings spread behind her back. She came to a stop about three feet from where I was kneeling, a pool of blood spreading around me. I looked up into her eyes, which were utterly devoid of any warmth or compassion.

"It was nothing personal." She told me. "But you could've become a danger to us."

_Only if you made me into one!_ I tried to say, but my lungs were starting to fill with blood. The woman – who must be an Angel who fell from grace – turned away from my dying form, took a few steps and retrieved what looked like a mobile phone from her pocket, pressed a sequence and held it to her ear.

"Raynare, my target is down…" She spoke to whoever was on the other end of the call. "Good. I will meet you there; the girl needs to be acquired as soon as possible if we are to succeed; her power will definitely be useful." At her words, I felt a sudden surge of anger. This bitch had just as good as killed me and this 'Raynare' was about to cause misfortune for what could be an innocent girl.

_No! I will not let that happen!_ I silently roared as I dragged myself forward; my killer was unaware of what I was doing.

"No…" I growled as I wrapped my arms around her leg in a last act of defiance. The Fallen Angel merely stared down her nose at me in contempt as another spear of light flared in her hands. I knew exactly what was about to happen next.

"You fool." She sneered, before throwing the spear. I gasped in pain as it pierced my chest, puncturing my right lung. With a cold look on her face, the Fallen Angel kicked my arms loose and flew off, leaving me to drown in my own blood. Shuddering as my body slowly gave out, I felt something warm and wet trickling down my face. I lifted one hand to wipe it away and saw – to my surprise – that I was crying; something I hadn't been capable of doing in months. I almost laughed at the absurdity of it; I would've if I wasn't in such pain. I could feel what was left of my blood draining away from my body or filling my one good lung. In these last moments before death, I recalled all my hopes, all my aspirations; and especially my regrets. I regretted mouthing off to my mother all those times; I regretted not being nicer to Sonja. But there were two things I regretted the most: I regretted ever trusting my ex-girlfriend and the guy who was my best friend; and I regretted that I had to kill in defence of my sister. I also regretted having to die alone, with no one there to try and give me false reassurance that everything was going to be alright.

_I wish…_ I thought sluggishly, as my vision dimmed until I could barely see anything and my heart beat slowly.

_I wish I didn't have to die alone… And not like this… Not like this…_ As I thought this, my heart finally stopped; the last thing I saw was a flash of red light as everything faded to black.

* * *

_A/N: and on that charming note: thanks to everyone who has read; as always I appreciate your reviews. And remember: use medication **only** as directed. Next chapter: a flashback, an awkward meeting, the morning after and some symptoms that make a hangover look pleasant in comparison._


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